8 months post last relaxer

I am happy to say that I have not given up on my mission to become natural. It has been a long 8 months for me but I have stuck to it. I can not wait until I do my big chop; I almost did it super early last month but my sister told me I would regret doing it. I considered what she said and then I concluded that I did not want to have any regrets.

It has become very difficult to prevent breakage for me so I have decided to get my hair braided. I needed a protective style and this one will allow me to save some time at night and in the morning; this style will also allow most likely help my hair grow so I am all for it. I hate seeing the amount of hair that comes out when I wash my hair so this will help me not get a panic attack for a while. I have made it 8 months and I can not wait to see where I am in the next 4.

Found something that works

I have finally found a style that works with my hair very well. Bantu knots!!!!!!!!!!!!! These knots have made my transitioning phase so much easier. Together with the shea butter and coconut oil these knots leave my hair looking like I am already natural. I am sooooo happy now I just have to set a goal for when I will cut off my permed ends. I am not sure what length I want to do that yet, but thankfully I have a long while to decide that. I am also trying to decide on whether or not I stop combing my hair with an actual comb or start just using my hand, outside of when I wash my hair. Decisions...decisions.

Figuring things out

I have finally figured out some products my hair likes. I am 5 months post my last relaxer, and I am managing even better now because of the products I have already had but have not used together. I have always used coconut oil in my hair as a deep conditioner, never usually in styling because I have a fear going out in the cold and having it all harden in my hair. But since I don't go out much I decided to put some in my hair and seal it with shea butter; which I usually just use on my skin. These two together have really changed things in my washes and day to day hair care. My hair is softer and I don't have that soft feel but dry look. I am so happy for some progress, because the leave-in conditioner was not cutting it at all.

My Hair

Some times in life we all make decisions and we are not certain if that decision was the right one. That in turn leads a great deal of; I almost used the word stressed, but it is more worries. In December of 2011 Is when I relaxed my hair for a special occasion as I usually do every few months, then I moved in with my sister. My sister decided to "go natural" and she said I should too, so I thought about it and said why not. Her method was to get her hair washed, set and her roots blown out at a Dominican Hair Salon; I have done that plenty of times and decided I would just do the same thing. That just worked fine for about 5 months, then I realized that I did not want to depend on the salon to do my hair all the time and I wanted to be able to do my hair myself so I decided to wash my hair myself and after looking at some ( just a few ) videos on Youtube I decide to buy some moisturizing shampoo and conditioners and go for it. I was able to wash my hair and comb it out in the shower. I was ecstatic that I was able to do it myself as I was transitioning.

 At the six month mark, it was Father's Day Weekend, my parents came to visit and I decided to wash my hair again. Everything was going fine until the conditioner and comb came in to of conditioners to play. I put a large amount of conditioner in my hair and tried to comb it out and it just wouldn't go through. I was so frustrated and scared that i was going to have to cut it all off or inadvertently RIP my hair out in the process. I was so scared that I decided that before my parents left i was going to relax my hair. I really did not want to but that experience was a bit traumatizing. leading up to the relaxer I had to convince my self that I was not giving up, i just realized that my hair just cant be in its natural state. It was only a child relaxer but before I even did it I knew I would regret it.

After all was said and done I kept telling myself that, it was OK and that getting a relaxer every six months was just fine. I had this nagging feeling that I made a mistake, but I kept on going and went back to getting regular wash and sets. My birthday was fast approaching and my sister suggested that I do something different like color my hair; I have never colored my hair (besides black) and I was in the mood for a change, it was for my birthday after all. So I got a semi permanent color and pin curled my hair. the whole time I was doing all this I was contemplating cutting my hair short. So the next day after my birthday, and all the pretty pictures were taken LoL, I got my hair cut in layers. I was short and I loved it.

It took a while but I decided after I cut it that I wanted to try going natural again, but I was still not completely sure. It was not until I went to go visit my mom for a few days. I was going to take a little time out of my visit and ask her to relax my hair but when I did she told me she was not going to do it because she wanted me to try transitioning again. I went home and did the Youtube search again but this time it was more extensive resulting in me finding 3 very helpful channels. I have subscribed to them and I have gained more confidence in my ability to transition successfully. I have also found that cutting my hair was the best thing ever, because it was much easier to manage at this length. 

 So here I am in my 4th month in my second attempt at transitioning. I am honestly having more fun this time around and I did the one thing I think was the biggest help in this second attempt. I stopped visiting the salon. I am learning about my hair myself and not depending on a hair dresser. I is the best thing anyone transitioning can do; other wise you will have no clue what to do to your hair when you are on your own.

I just wanted to get these thoughts out on "paper" since I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I really did not expect it to be so lengthy.

If anyone does read this thank you for reading.

I know it has been forever

I have not had a thing to write about in a long time. I know I said I would try harder, but graduating and moving in with my sisters family to help with the new baby got in the way. I can say that I have discovered something very interesting.... KDramas and K-Pop. I love watching Korean Dramas it helps me escape and I don't ever want to give it up. I have watched so many already but my stand out dramas are Boy's Over Flowers, The Moon Embraces the Sun, and Love Rain. My favorite K-pop group is 2PM, I love them and I constantly find myself trolling youtube looking for 2PM related videos.

 I have to laugh because I feel like such a fan girl sometimes, and I never saw myself doing some of the the things I do while watching a live performance. 

Well that is what I have been up to lately. 

Design

I want to change my lay out rally badly but I have not a clue how to do it. I will keep working on it though. If anyone out there can help me, it will be highly appreciated.

Stuck

I do not know why but I feel really stuck right now. Like my life is at a standstill and I have no where to go. I felt this way before I went to sleep and woke up feeling the same way. I really do not like this feeling and I want it to go away. Trying to get rid of the feeling is harder than I thought it would be, I probably have to stop thinking about so much stuff at once. I have graduation coming up in thee Fall and my move back to New York so that could be on my mind. Also the feeling as though I have not accomplished anything during my life here on Earth could be a contributor. I do not know what is going on with me but I want it to stop. At least after writing this I feel a bit better. Until next time.